The following post is going to sound cheesy.
My New Year's Resolution is to become a better person. For the past few years I have made my talent seeking out problems and doing nothing to fix them. After I notice a problem I complain about how much the problem bothers me, never once stopping to think that there is a strong possibility my problems are invented. What do I really have to complain about? Nothing. For Christmas my dad bought me MacBook Pro; I have three modestly sized closets full of clothing; I have a rack full of shoes; I have my own personal library in my room, full of excellent books of all sorts; I have every art supply under the sun; I have parents who support me in anything I do; I have wonderful friends, who love me despite the fact that my constant dry sarcasm is annoying even to myself; I got into an elite art school that I am now attending; not all my academic teachers are great, but the majority are; I have a modest but completely acceptable amount of money in the bank... I have absolutely nothing to complain about. My life, for all the bumps I've run over, is rather close to perfect. So I shouldn't sit around being irritable and sorry for myself, I need to expunge some bad habits that have been building up, I need to lighten up, I need to enjoy myself more, and I need to give back.
I'm making it into a month by month project; each month will focus on a some aspect of myself I want to better, with the intent being that by next December I am a happier and nicer person. I'm starting right here and now, in the month of January. The theme for January is optimism. I feel optimism is the essential starting point for becoming better at anything in life. If I start out the year believing I'm going to fail I can't achieve anything; however, if I start out the year knowing I can succeed, I can only move forward! Granted there will be realism to my optimism. I would not suggest knowing you can jump off buildings or stand in front of moving trains. I would love for anyone to join me in my quest for human awesomeness.
Here are the beginnings of my schedule:
January- Become an optimist
February- End PROCRASTINATION
March- Stop lying/Start telling the truth
April- Smile constantly, even when I don't want to
May- Present tentative live plan
June- Begin steps toward achieving life plan
That is the first six months of my twelve step project. The italicized months are the easiest, the bold are hard, and the bold italicized are next to impossible. Obviously you are welcomed to add and subtract from the calendar as it applies. I don't expect everyone is as addicted to lying as I am, or as opposed to smiling. The point is we all have our own unique set of flaws, originally stitched together with good intentions, now stained with whatever we've been through. But flaws really are a choice. I chose to lie a lot, I chose to find lying fun, and now it is my worst habit and the reason some people don't trust me. Even if I didn't realize it, I chose to be a pessimist. My pessimism lead to a lot of bad choices and almost cost me my life. I am choosing to be better, so can anyone else. We are all flawed. The person you idolize most in the world is flawed, has problems, just like you and me. I want to be better than that.
So want to join in my Project for Human Awesomeness?
Listening to: "Legend of Ashitaka" from Mononoke-Hime
Reading: City of Fallen Angels